Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
