Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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