There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
