ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
