dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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