Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
