Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
