I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
