we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
