I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
