Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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