there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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