she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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