the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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