is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
