Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
