Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
