I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
