You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
