I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
