So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The air was thick with penises
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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