omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
