She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
