Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
