We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
