Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just want to make out with him forever
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
