I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
