i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize