You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My dick has a subreddit
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
