A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
should my penis look like a turkey
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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