So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
