Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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