I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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