remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
