It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
