no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
