fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
