I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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