I feel great
I just peed on a car
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
