the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We don't watch enough power rangers
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
