I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
