careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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