their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
