wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
