This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
