I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
