he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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