Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
