I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
