Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
