farters have to be the big spoon...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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