rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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