real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
