I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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