we have officially lost it.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
