he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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