i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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