Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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