i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
