Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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